Another One Bites The Dust

So, we told another friend about our secret life as V+R. A friend we don't see terribly often, but have known for quite a while. A friend who is chronically difficult to impress. A friend we expected to roll his eyes and say, "ugh, of course you do." He's a curmudgeon, which is why we like him.

The response we actually got really threw us for a loop, "Holy shit. No wonder you guys are so happy together." After we'd recovered from our hearts growing a size, it really made us think.

A dramatic representation of my heart growing a size. It busted that flimsy shirt right open!

Three years in, it's crazy how much we're still learning from this experience.
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The Gentle Introduction of Ass-Play.

My boyfriend is very willing to explore sexually with me, and loves me for the fact that I am so liberated and willing to try new things. However, there is one thing he is very shy about: his ass. Ever since he went down on mine, and took my anal virginity, I have been dying to give him that same pleasure. However, he is one of those men that, to a certain extent, equates anal penetration with homosexuality in men. I have told him I want to go down on his ass, and he is willing to let me, although I haven't done so yet. He knows I would like to try pegging, but I think he is a little afraid of it. Any ideas on how to gently ease him into ass play?

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Back in the Saddle.

I have been having pain during sex, which has led to my husband and I not being intimate very much. I avoid it for fear of pain, and he worries about hurting me. The problem is me sort of involuntarily clenching those muscles and being unable to relax. I can go from being quite relaxed to totally tense in the space of a couple seconds if sex is going to happen. He knows that this is not something I'm doing consciously, and not something that I want to do, but it is driving a bit of a wedge between us, physically. I see there are 'dilator kits' for vaginismus, which seems like a good idea, but kind of costly.

via Hottie, Hott, Hot - by Alexander Tikhomirov

I don't own any sex toys, but since my husband raised this as an issue earlier this month, I have mentioned several times that I am totally open to working on becoming comfortable with sex again. I do want to tackle this but feel a bit lost as a person who just doesn't talk about sex. Help!
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